1) All Saint defensive players from 2009 suspended for twenty-five years (Jonathan Vilma will be sixty upon his return to team)
2) Drew Brees will deliver first born son Connor to league office. Connor will forfeit his superbowl ear protectors.
3) Saints mascot Gumbeau will be castrated by the end of the week.
4) Saints players must give Colts players their super bowl rings since bounty program obviously caused Manning to throw game ending interception.
5) Saintsations must wear burkhas for 2012 season to further punish Saints fans.
6) Bills and Redskins who also ran bounty system under Williams given stern warning by Goodell to go along with the zero penalties issued to them.
7) Saints will forfeit one time out per half per game and officials will be instructed to hose the saints even more than in the past.
8) Whistlemonster stripped of his whistle
9) Any Saints fan chanting "Who Dat hypocritical weasel who screwed my saints" will lose his season tickets.
10) Saints touchdowns to count for only five points and for the first eight games Saints not allowed extra point kicks.
The league further announced that it will continue to rake in TV money from Saint's games and continue to vehemently pretend that it cares about player safety when the fundamental premise of NFL football is that players are paid to hit each other as hard as humanly possible on every play all the while pretending they are not trying to hurt each other.
The league will also continue to replay bone shattering hits from every angle to promote the sport all the while denouncing the violence which is the lifeblood of the NFL.
Courtesy: Saintsreport.com and cartoon by Spud McConnell
